⏱️ 8 min read
If decluttering were easy, we’d all be living in uncluttered homes. But you know the moment—you’re sitting in the middle of a mess, ready to start decluttering… and then, nothing happens. You stare at the clutter, completely stuck.
I know you’ve thought, “Why is this so hard for me when everyone else seems to figure it out?” and I promise, you’re not alone. Decluttering is tough for so many reasons—emotional attachment, decision fatigue, perfectionism, and just plain overwhelm. But the good news? It’s not impossible. I have some suggestions for you that work with your brain, not against it.
Why Decluttering Feels So Hard
1. Decision Fatigue: Why Decluttering Feels Exhausting (And How to Avoid Mental Burnout)
Every single item in your home requires a decision:
- Do I keep it?
- Do I donate it?
- Will I need this later?
- Am I making the wrong choice?
Even small decisions, like whether to keep an old coffee mug, stack up. By the time you’ve sorted a drawer, you’re mentally drained. This is why you can start decluttering with high energy and suddenly feel like you hit a wall.
Dana K. White, author of Decluttering at the Speed of Life (aslobcomesclean.com), emphasizes starting with the easiest decisions first. She recommends tackling obvious trash and no-brainer donations before making emotionally difficult choices, reducing decision fatigue.
✅ Make It Easier: Use a Keep or Let Go rule—no “Maybe” pile! Limit your choices to just two options to reduce decision fatigue.
2. When Letting Go Feels Impossible: Why Decluttering Is So Emotional
Some items carry great memories, others make us feel guilty (like expensive things we never use or gifts we never liked). I held onto a beautiful dress I’d never worn—and didn’t fit into—because I wanted to be the person who could wear it. Letting go of that dress wasn’t just about clearing space—it was about accepting myself as I am today. No wonder decluttering feels so personal.
✅ Make It Easier: Reframe your thinking. The object holds a story, but you are the storyteller. Instead of keeping the item, share its meaning—whether by telling someone the story or writing it down. Let the memory stay while the clutter goes.
3. Conquering Overwhelm: Where to Start When You’re Stuck in the Mess
When you look at a messy room, your brain might shut down from sheer decision overload. You don’t know where to begin, so you do… nothing. The longer you wait, the worse it feels—until even the thought of starting feels exhausting.
✅ Make It Easier: Start with tiny wins. Overwhelm thrives in inaction—so the key is to shrink the task until it feels doable. Clear just one small surface (like a nightstand) or toss five easy things. Small wins build momentum, and momentum makes everything easier.
4. The “Just in Case” Trap: How to Let Go of Things You Might Need
That “just in case” mentality can turn your home into a storage unit for future-you. Maybe you’ve been burned before—needing something right after getting rid of it—or you’ve heard stories that make you hesitate. But realistically, most of those things never get used, and the cost of keeping everything “just in case” is a home filled with clutter instead of space for what truly matters.
✅ Make It Easier: Ask yourself, “Would I buy this again today?” If not, it’s probably safe to let it go. And if you ever do need it again? You’ll figure it out—because your home (and peace of mind) is worth so much more than a hypothetical “someday.”
5. Perfectionism Is Keeping You Stuck—Here’s How to Break Free
Perfectionists, I see you (I’m one of you)! If you feel like you need the perfect method before starting, you might never start at all. And if you get started, but then get lost in the details, you make little headway. They key is to find that “good enough” mentality to gain a little momentum.
✅ Make It Easier: If you’re stuck perfecting and overthinking every choice, set a timer for five minutes and just declutter something easy, like your socks or the top of your fridge, without second-guessing. A time limit takes the pressure off, helps your brain shift into action mode, and keeps perfectionism from slowing you down.
What NOT to Do When You Feel Stuck Decluttering
When you’re overwhelmed or stymied by clutter, your first instinct might be to go big, go fast, or try to power through. But that approach can backfire, making you feel even more stuck. Here’s what NOT to do when you’re struggling to declutter:
❌ Don’t start by pulling everything out at once.
- You’ve probably seen those before-and-after photos where someone empties an entire closet onto the floor. While this works for some, for many people—especially those with ADHD—it turns into a massive, overwhelming mess. Instead, declutter in small sections so you don’t lose momentum.
❌ Don’t try to “fix everything” in one day.
- Decluttering isn’t a race. If you push yourself to finish everything in a single weekend, you’ll likely burn out and leave half-finished piles everywhere. Instead, focus on small, manageable wins that build momentum.
❌ Don’t overthink every single decision.
- The more you analyze every item, the harder it gets. Instead of asking, “Should I keep this?” over and over, set simple, clear rules. Example: If I haven’t used it in a year, it goes. Decision rules reduce mental fatigue and make decluttering faster.
❌ Don’t start with sentimental items.
- Trying to declutter photo albums, heirlooms, or gifts from loved ones first is a recipe for decision paralysis. Instead, start with easy, low-emotion clutter like expired pantry items, broken things, or old paperwork.
❌ Don’t declutter when you’re already exhausted.
- Decision fatigue is real, and if you’re mentally drained before you start, you won’t get far. Pick a time when you have the most energy—maybe in the morning or after a short break—so you can think more clearly.
✅ Better Alternative: What to Do Instead
- Start small, make quick decisions, and work with your energy levels—not against them. Even five minutes of decluttering is solid progress!
How to Make Decluttering Easier (For Real)
Now that we know what’s making decluttering so difficult, and what NOT to do, let’s focus on what actually works. Try these ADHD-friendly strategies to make progress—without the stress:
🔥 1. Know Your Decluttering Style
Are you a Flare, Sparkler, Hearth, or Beacon? Your decluttering struggles (and strengths!) are different based on your personality.
- Flare (Visual Processor): Needs to see things → Declutter in clear, visible stages.
- Sparkler (Overwhelmed Avoider): Gets stuck before starting → Set a 5-minute timer.
- Hearth (Sentimental Keeper): Holds onto memories → Limit keepsakes to one box.
- Beacon (Absolute Perfectionist): Wants the perfect method → Just start anywhere!
👉 Take the Four Flames Quiz to discover your decluttering style.
🚀 2. Use the “One Bin” Method
Instead of tackling an entire room, fill just one bin with things to donate or toss. Once it’s full, stop! This makes progress feel manageable.
⏳ 3. Set a Timer (5-10 Minutes is Enough!)
You don’t need hours to declutter. Set a short timer and declutter until it goes off. Small sessions add up over time!
🗂️ 4. Use the 'Instant Yes or No' Rule
If you’re unsure about an item, ask yourself: Would I actively go looking for this if I didn’t already have it? If the answer is no, let it go immediately. This prevents creating a pile of postponed decisions that turn into future clutter.
💡 5. Start With the Easiest Stuff
Make quick wins a priority: ✅ Trash ✅ Expired items ✅ Things you don’t even like ✅ Broken items you’ll “fix someday” (but haven’t)
Final Thoughts: Decluttering Gets Easier
Decluttering is hard. You’re not broken, and you’re not failing—you’re learning. Every step you take, no matter how small, is progress toward the improvement you’re looking for. It’s not about doing it perfectly—it’s about making your space work for you. That’s exactly why I built the Four Flames Quiz—to help you stop feeling stuck and start decluttering with confidence.
You CAN do this.
👉 Which of these tips resonates most with you? Drop a comment below!
Need motivation & accountability? Our free Simply Tidy Living Community is full of people just like you—getting unstuck, one step at a time. I’d love it if you’d join us!
I’m so proud of you! 🎉
